i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
