did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
