My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
