i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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