Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
