You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
