I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
