hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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