either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
