i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize