If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
