It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
