oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
