You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
