Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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