I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
