you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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