oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
