So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
