no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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