youre lurking in front of me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
ttyl tear gas
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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