I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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