is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
