So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
