They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
