I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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