Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
