You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
