It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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