One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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