I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
