I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
