he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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