brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
