hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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