Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
