just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
