until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
