I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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