OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
