it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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