Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
