And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
