i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
