yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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