This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize