I puked a lego.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
