I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
