just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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