i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
