Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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