Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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