That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
