It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
