Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
