oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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