And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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