Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
