You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
