Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
