I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
