I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
