Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
