So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
