I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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