I cannot find my penis.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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